Some of you out there have offices that you go to every morning, while some work from home. Some of you work nights at a bar or restaurant, or slave away behind a retail counter. But some people -- like myself -- are between writing gigs and collect unemployment.

It sounds like a dream! Get paid to do nothing! Wait for your next job to start while you party on Uncle Sam's dime. Well, it's not really like that at all. See, sitting around at home just makes you lazier. Oh, I thought that I would be exercising more, reading more books, getting more writing done for myself, and becoming a better person in general...I was wrong. I'm just getting fatter and lazier. I need to start work again SOON.

Here's my typical day:

-Lay in bed till around noon
-Eat some toast (too lazy to make eggs...don't want to clean pan)
-Sit down at computer
-Check email
-Chat on Instant Messenger
-Check message boards
-Check various websites
-Download music
-Check email
-Instant Messenger
-Message Boards
-Email
-Instant Messenger
-Eat again
-Take shit
-Watch a movie
-Eat snack
-Watch TV
-Back on computer
-Look at clock
-Shower
-Head into city to have dinner with girlfriend
-Lie to her about how productive I was today
-Sex
-Sleep
-Repeat